don't know much about the term cyborg and i never use it cause somehow i'm old-fashioned. dreaming in not such a modern world. and it sounds like something bad. devilish. against humanity. a hybrid, half human, half machine. it's dangerous, it could be that our ( the true humans ) values don't count for 'it' as much as for us. it could put into question our rules ( whichever for whomever may be the important ones ). or, even worse, it could just not accept them... i'm afraid of cyborgs.

and, the same time, it's something fascinating, modern, fancy, cool ( and somehow i would like so much to be cool ). it's the proof of progress ( not development, though ), the materialization of the eternal dream of immortality. it's the nightmare of the future for the mortals and one day it will rule the world. ( will there be a cy-mice sharing the destiny with it ?)

it has nothing to do with the computer in front of me as well as it has nothing to do with me, of course. i can see the danger. i just try to make something human with the machine, to give it the right to exist as well as to give me the right to exist. the computer and me, we are just victims. victims of the future, of the new that doesn't exist. we are just projections of some sick brains who tend to destroy our lives with their apocalyptic visions, misused to feed their hunger for power... we know ( we are the heroes ) but it doesn't help.

the machine-part of cyborg is not necessarily machine in terms of technic. it's machine in terms of mind. it's the uncritical mass, running just not to loose the track, creating identity in giving it up. thanks god, my computer and me, we are different.

you know which people i admire the most ? it's those who are able to reflect life and it's reasons in a neutral way. just scientific. without emotions. they understood ( they are the true heroes ). logic is the only way out of those uncontrolled polemics against an innocent group of letters, combined by chance and, without knowing why, just discovering itself being aggressed by a lot of other accidental accumulations of the same material.

but i'm trying to learn. i try hard to develop my character. and, you know, i can learn a lot in the communication with my computer. lately i know i can trust it completely. it never changes it's mind. it always reacts the same way. if something doesn't work, i can be sure, it's my mistake. it taught me so, and first i didn't want to believe but now i know. if i do it the right way, it works ( this is the proof that it is right ). so i learn about structures. about systems. and it even gives me the impression to control them. it teaches me to give up senseless fights and, instead, to learn to adapt to ( it's not so important to what, this i learned too, so let's just call it ) given structures. how to live with them. and i'm much more satisfied when i understood something and then become able to for example produce a nice sound, than when i fought for some days just because i thought i wanted to write a different combination of codes than i had to. my computer never becomes angry when i behave like a stubborn child and don't want to follow the rules, just because i think it is better to do it in another way, just because i believe to think it is not right to be forced to do something the way somebody tells me to do without wanting it myself. no, my computer is very patient with me. it lets me do all i want. and the moment i finally do it the right way, it immediately rewards me in reacting the way i wish so much. it never is resentful or moody. you know, even more than scientists i admit computers.

and it is completely selfless. without complaining or becoming jealous it just acts as mediator, as medium when i do my efforts to communicate with somebody different, with somebody who, the computer knows, has some properties it will never have. maybe, it can be this calm, because it is sure about itself, about it's proper value, because it doesn't need me ? so then it can just be and be without any fear. and it will never loose anything. it's memory is filled with it's system and with what i put in. a part of me is part of it. so it is sure about me too. it even does not have to be afraid that i could erase all, because this it wouldn't remember then. but the point which gives it the most power is that it has no need to be different. one big brain. one structure. one system. 0 and 1.

did you ever think about that maybe computers is the better cyborg ?